Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Stagefright - who me?

     How is it that I can be completely at ease with my classmates discussing Socrates and other deep thinkers, calmly lead the class in a trivia game that focuses on our five books we studied together, but change the subject to my faith and suddenly I have a case of the nerves? I just don't get it. I have plenty of public speaking experience. I have shared my faith with them from the beginning of the semester. I don't start out that way in my presentation but suddenly I find my voice a bit shaky, palms sweaty and hands start to shake. I have no reason for it. I was less nervous completing the challenge for the presentation than telling them about it. 
      I like my classmates, I trust them, and I can discuss deep, difficult topics easily with them. I noticed it's whenever my faith comes up and I'm leading discussion that I get the jitters. It doesn't make sense. I have been leading classes at church for years although I managed to do it alone or with an helper - no pressure there. It's almost a subliminal fear. I don't even feel a hint of fear before or even in the beginning.
     For my presentation, I chose to challenge myself to teach the kids at church with a mentor present and ask for an evaluation. I measured my success on if I went through with it, if the kids learned, and if the mentor said I did a good job. I completed it and was excited to share with my class at school. Here I am telling them about it and all my fears crept up on me again. To try to stifle the jitters halfway through my presentation, I told the group that even thinking about my challenge was making me nervous. I mentioned it later to a classmate, but she said it was a good presentation.

So how do I combat this new subliminal fear that's trying to scare me out of talking about my faith? Is this one of those strongholds that the devil is putting on me because I'm getting braver in sharing?


  1. I went to the Women of Faith conference this year and Sheila Walsh talked about the first time she was asked to speak. She said she had no idea what to talk about and was very nervous and felt like God told her, just get up there and tell the truth. So she did. She told her story and her walk with God and look at her today! God is still using her to speak!

    Lately when I talk to some people about my husband's job loss they say things like, I don't understand, it's not fair, this shouldn't be happening to you. I told myself today - trust and obey in God and in His truth and His perfect will. Why let those around me who are weak themselves alter my faith??

    I read this last night:
    25 See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? 26 At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.”[a] 27 The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.

    28 Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, 29 for our “God is a consuming fire.”[b] Hebrews 12:25-29

    I'm with you - I long to be not let anyone hold me back from staying in step with God.

  2. Thanks Big Fat Mama - you have a great insight into my situation. It's so foreign to me to be nervous. I was actually excited to do my presentation then, creeeeep here came the nerves halfway through. I won't let it stop me either.