Reverting to Nerdism

Returning to college? Need help getting ready for your big day? Here's how to be (ask me how I know) the worlds biggest nerd:

Step 1: Carry a briefcase. Not just any briefcase, your husband's briefcase with the little Swiss Army emblem. Add an extra tote with a handle, because you really need the little calculator in it for the placement exam. All those 18 year olds will be jealous of your trend-setting bag, ditch their backpacks and run to the nearest thrift-store to get their very own "case". 

Step 2: Wear a non-breathable shirt especially on the hottest day of the year. If you forget, you can always go to the student store and purchase one and fyi - they DO sell deoderant (ask me how I know)

Step 3: Wear your cutest pair of brand new shoes - preferrably the stiffest and leave the band-aids at home. It's way cooler to hobble over to the clinic and ask for some.

These steps have been tested and proven true. When the day finally ends, and you limp out to your car or minivan, you may be rewarded by your peers- I found THIS on my minivan windshield.